Cognitive labor is an obdurate source of inequality between partners, and is usually considered so because the nature of the work makes it “invisible” to those involved. Yet given that talk of the “mental load” is now widespread and the pandemic amplified awareness of disparities, gender scholars have reason to question its “invisibility.” I ask: Are partners in heterosexual relationships aware of gendered inequalities in cognitive labor? How do partners legitimate inequalities in cognitive labor, given increased awareness? What prevents partners from achieving gendered change in cognitive labor? To answer these, I draw on interview data collected during the pandemic from 81 heterosexually partnered parents in the United States. I find that cognitive labor is far from invisible to women performing it and appears invisible to men only because they use resistance strategies to avoid it. I argue that the “invisibility” of cognitive labor stems from gendered power dynamics—both interpersonal and structural—not from the nature of the work process itself. I expand understanding of the power dynamics that sustain inequalities in this domain, pushing beyond typical explanations that center hidden power. Instead, I emphasize the role of patriarchal bargains in a seemingly intractable gender structure that gives men power.

中文翻译：

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认知劳动、权力和父权交易：性别变革的不那么隐蔽的障碍

认知劳动是合作伙伴之间不平等的一个顽固根源，通常被认为是这样，因为工作的性质使其对参与其中的人“不可见”。然而，鉴于“精神负荷”的讨论现在已经很普遍，而且大流行放大了对差异的认识，性别学者有理由质疑它的“隐形”。我问：异性恋关系中的伴侣是否意识到认知劳动中的性别不平等？鉴于意识的提高，合作伙伴如何合理化认知劳动中的不平等？是什么阻碍了合作伙伴在认知劳动中实现性别变化？为了回答这些问题，我借鉴了大流行期间从美国 81 名异性恋伴侣父母那里收集的采访数据。我发现认知劳动对从事认知劳动的女性来说远非无形，而对男性来说似乎是无形的，只是因为他们使用抵抗策略来避免它。我认为，认知劳动的“隐形”源于性别化的权力动态——包括人际和结构——而不是来自工作流程本身的性质。我扩展了对维持该领域不平等的权力动态的理解，超越了以隐藏权力为中心的典型解释。相反，我强调父权交易在赋予男性权力的看似棘手的性别结构中的作用。